If the penalty for a crime is a fine, then that law only exists for the lower class.
No matter how many grains of gold I serve you, you keep eating oatmeal, and I can’t become my problem.
I knew we had to drive on cobblestones, but I didn’t know they had thrown them down from a helicopter.
When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times…I learned very early in life that: ‘Without a song, the day would never end; without a song, a man ain’t got a friend; without a song, the road would never bend – without a song.’ So I keep singing a song. Goodnight. Thank you.
In the past, we learned to cope with challenges ourselves. Today, a lot of people younger than me are not resistant to the vicissitudes and emotional challenges of life. If you’ve been told all your life that it’s the others who should spoil you and keep you free of problems, you’re probably a very sober person emotionally.
When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving, him a liar: you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say.
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
These are two humans who, by technology and science, have created ways that can fight crime and get rid of bad people. However, In that contest, my money’s on Iron Man because he invented everything that he uses. Batman, however, has engineers.
If someone says it’s raining and another person says it’s dry, it’s not your job to quote them both. Your job is to look out the fucking window and find out which is true.
With great powers comes great responsibilities.
Wearing cheap clothes or driving an old car doesn’t make you broke. You got a family to feed not a community to impress.
When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.
If the heroes run and hide, who will stay and fight?
When you get as old as I am and no longer have a husband or dog, and the children have long since left home, you can sit and get a little wiser by thinking. Then it’s time to edit your memories and start looking at your life again. First come the regrets, then come the wrongs you’ve done, mistakes you’ve made – and all the things you can sit and brood over if you’re already in a bad mood. But you can also understand people and contexts in a new way.
Sometimes, the wrong train takes you to the right station.
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, itøs probably crap.
I hate all those weathermen who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing, so get yourself a sexy raincoat and live a little.
If you only want to see dog shit, then there is dog shit.
Instead of buying your children all the things you never had, you should teach them all the things you were never taught. Material wears out but knowledge stays.
I have a small walk-in closet, and it can easily turn into a recycling museum, so I’ve also learned to sort out. When you are as old as I am, it is very important not to get sloppy and wear boring clothes.
Maintain a natural gait even if you shit your pants
I thought I was stone rich, so I poured money out with both hands – and now I owe right and left.
A man should only work 4 hours a day so he may have time to devote himself to the arts and sciences.
How many cars do I have? Do I also have to count the Volvos?
Too much learning can crack even the freshest!