If someone says it’s raining and another person says it’s dry, it’s not your job to quote them both. Your job is to look out the fucking window and find out which is true.
If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.
I have a small walk-in closet, and it can easily turn into a recycling museum, so I’ve also learned to sort out. When you are as old as I am, it is very important not to get sloppy and wear boring clothes.
Wearing cheap clothes or driving an old car doesn’t make you broke. You got a family to feed not a community to impress.
I won! I won! I don’t have to go to school anymore.
When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
Idleness is the root of all art
The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.
I thought I was stone rich, so I poured money out with both hands – and now I owe right and left.
His shiny ice flashes like the sword of Athens in the setting French evening sun.
If you absolutely don’t have time to make your own mayonnaise, Hellmann’s Mayonnaise is the only store-bought mayonnaise that will do.
A developed country is not a place where the poor have cars. This is where the rich use public transport.
Isn’t it great to see so many men in bike shorts?
If the heroes run and hide, who will stay and fight?
Lotto is a tax for stupid people. An extra tax.
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, itøs probably crap.
When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times…I learned very early in life that: ‘Without a song, the day would never end; without a song, a man ain’t got a friend; without a song, the road would never bend – without a song.’ So I keep singing a song. Goodnight. Thank you.
Too much learning can crack even the freshest!
When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving, him a liar: you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say.
Sometimes, the wrong train takes you to the right station.
With great powers comes great responsibilities.
Life is like a game of chess. I don’t know how to play chess.
Even when your life seems most monotonous, what you do is always of real value — and importance to your fellow men.