You must never let your worst enemy get into your head.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
What can you get for a dollar? You can get piss and paper
The early bird catches the worm. The early worm gets eaten.
When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.
Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.
I can’t give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure: Try to please everybody.
Accepting your nose is the first step to self-love.
A true master stands up when he cannot.
Some of life’s big questions: Where do we come from, where are we going and where do we put the empty bottles?
You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one.
Never listen to girls on how to get girls. If you’re trying to catch fish you don’t ask another fish. You ask the Fisherman.
I like Danish humour – I just wish you had more of it.
If you’re a giver, remember to learn your limits. Because the takers don’t have any.
Life is like a game of chess. I don’t know how to play chess.
Isn’t it great to see so many men in bike shorts?
It may be that you can not buy love for money – but you can buy something similar to confusion.
It has always been easy to hate and destroy. To build and to cherish is much more difficult.
There’s one thing worse than being boring. It is to be immoral
If you don’t find a way to make money while you sleep, you will work until you die.
When you are extra strong, you have a special obligation to be sweet to others
My old, wise father once said: Freedom of speech is a right to write and speak, not a duty! But of course: Freedom of speech is by its nature unlimited, and it applies to everyone, even the stupid and provocative.
We never played hide and seek when we were children. No one ever bothered to look for us.
If they want to be with sour and awkward people during their vacation, well, then they should probably choose another travel agency.
Some people tap their feet, some people snap their fingers, and some people sway back and forth. I just sorta do ‘em all together, I guess.